Paving with good intentions

I'm pretty sure that you're all fed up with anecdotes about me failing at adult life so let me share what happens when I do the responsible and mature thing.

At the end of April I will be going to London. To achieve that I will most likely have to flash my passport to a surly British fellow with a stiff upper lip one way or another. My passport expires in march. This I have memorized. Being the mature and responsible man that I am I have planned to apply for a new passport this week. Go me! Planning!

Monday came around early this week, actually an hour early because of the Daylight Savings. If there's something I need early in my life it's not Mondays. Boobs on the other hand. Maybe we can have some kind of exchange program? Boobs for Mondays?

As I got on the bus to work I found that our CFO (Chief Financial Officer, the man with the dough, the man that keeps track of the economics) rather unexpectedly was sharing my public transport. Being a man virtually made for stealth I snuck up and sat down behind him without him noticing. He was playing with his iPhone. I knew that he had Facebook so I pondered adding him and sending him a message 'You really should pay more attention to your surroundings, Pähr'. But then I realized that I couldn't really be bothered. Instead we just had a hearty laugh when we both stepped off the bus at our stop.

As soon as I got into the office I realised that I had left my wallet on the bus. I called CaveMongo Inc* but unfortunately they had no way of contacting the bus driver. But they were really helpful and told me to check in with 'Lost&Found' today after lunch. So I began the tedious process of canceling all my credit cards.

'Yes, I left it on the bus'

'Because I'm a retard?'

'Yes, my ID was in the vicinity of the Credit Card'

'Because it's a wallet!'

'No I didn't keep my PIN there'

'Yes I will be needing a replacement card'

'Tell your sister that she has great breasts, I have some Mondays to trade for'

'You have a nice day too!'

I also cancelled my drivers license since it's a valid identification so someone who looks like me can go take out huge loans in my name. That's a 'bad thing', because I don't think that handsome fella would share.

See I did bad, but then I took my responsibility and did everything a normal functioning adult would do!

So today I called the Lost&Found of CaveMongo Inc. They've found my wallet. Greatness! I ride across town to reclaim my rather shabby wallet filled with an endless supply of useless receipts, (Don't give me that look, you all know what you have in your wallets.), cancelled credit cards, canceled drivers license and a bus pass that expires tomorrow. I'm still glad to have him back though because he's, you know, my wallet. We've been through shit together. We have a history, you know what I mean? I saved him from disintegrating in a soggy mess of instant coffee powder and blueberry soup. (Seriously I'm not making this up ask me some day). Besides he's a verification of me doing the right and responsible thing, even though I got myself in a sticky spot.

I returned back to the office and checked my passport. Expiry date March 22, 2011. Whaddya mean they actually specify the exact date of expiry? Not just the month?

'Hello, my name is Peter and I would like to apply for a new passport!'

'No I don't have a valid identification because my former passport have expired and I've cancelled my drivers license so people can't ,you know, take out new passports in my name and stuff.'

That's what you get for acting mature and responsible when you're really just a kid.

'Hello, my name is Peter, I'm going on 32 and have to have my father vouch for my identity.'

FML

*That's what I call västtrafik, the public transport company around here.Really you should know this stuff from before, why are you reading this?