Monday, January 21, 2013

... and back again

(this is a continuation from an earlier post, if you haven't, go read that first)


We take the train to other-Osaka station and Stefan explains to us that our railpass won't be working for the next trip. We were shocked! 
'But...'
'...railpass?'
We look down disappointedly on our pretty paper folders. 
'But?'
'Oh they have 13 different railway companies in Japan. Railpass only works with one of them.'
(that being said though, it was still a good purchase. The railpass works on the Japanese express trains 'Shinkansen' and I would definitely have spent more on Shinkansen-tickets than I did on the railpass)

We travel by train to Stefan-ville aka Hirakata. We purchase a mattress on the way to his apartment and go to bed very quickly. A thing or two about Stefans apartment; it's very japan-sized and very cold at night. It wasn't unbearable though. T-shirt, a pair of sweats and a sleeping bag was perfectly fine. Next morning Stefan had school to attend, so he left us to our own accord during the day (which we mostly used to just sleep).

In the afternoon/evening Stefan had planned to enrich our cultural life a little. we were supposed to meet up at the train station. Stefan told us that we just had to take the bus just outside his flat and go to the end stop. So we got dressed and went to wait for the bus. We wondered between ourselves which direction we should take the bus, but quickly came up with the scientific solution of 'Well when we came here by foot yesterday, we came from there so we take the bus that goes in that direction, right?'

Cut to:




'I'm gonna call him now, I'm sure he was just delayed.'
*picks up phone*

'We're outside the mall. Do you have an ETA?'

'Kuzua Mall, the end stop of the bus, with train station and all, you know'

'Well we took the bus that you told us to and didn't get off until the driver shut off the engine and gave us funny looks'

'Oh... The OTHER direction?'

Eventually Stefan once again had to come pick us up at a different place than he had planned to. He really should plan better. Apparently we were lucky though, because we could have ended up on the Japanese countryside. In one direction all buses go to Hirakatashi, in the other however, they go all over the place. 

We go sightseeing in Kyoto, looking at temples and shrines. We also go out to eat what Stefan describes as japanese drinking-food. It was very much related to western drinking food, I can say. 


The rest of the week was spent either in bed sick or watching japanese sights, such as Hiroshima. We had planned to visit  Nara, but japanese microorganisms put an end to that. On friday me and Stefan visited an Onsen, a japanese bathing house. It was very refreshing and calming. What was not, however was the fact that the largest Kimono they had available to lend me was basically the Kimono-equivalent of a very large glove. This lead to an awkward moment when I passed the reception and the girl behind the counter had some input on my (lack of) modesty. First time I passed she gave me another waistband to tie in a knot with the already existing waistband to make it long enough to reach around my waist. On my way back however there was something else that was wrong and even though she tried to explain to Stefan what the problem was, the matter remained very unclear. This lead the girl to feel that she needed to help me tie the waistband. Problem was, however, that her arms weren't long anough to reach around my waist. So there I stood in the lobby of a respected establishment with a girl hugging my waist, making small grunting noises. If you would claim that this was one of my most awkward moments in my life I wouldn't correct you.

My railpass expired on saturday but my plane left on sunday so the plan was to go to Narita airport and spend the night at the terminal. Luckily I thought the better of that. I've spent enough time on airports in my life. So friday evening I looked up a nice hotel with rooms at a reasonable rate. Hotel bed > even japanese airport benches.

Come saturday afternoon I took my leave of Stefan and started to make my way towards Tokyo and Tokyo airport.

15:20: Step onto bus. (the right direction this time)
15:28: A hoard of japanese schoolgirls wells onto the bus. The noise level increases exponentially.
15:28:30 Gajin discovered.
15:28:34 'Where are you from?'
15:29:00 'Where are you from?'
15:29:30 'Where are you from?'
15:29:45 'I'm from Japan, where are you from?'
.
.
.
15:34:25 'GET ME OUT OF HERE!!'

15:40 Hirakata station. Humm humm... so... purchase ticket, wait for the express train. Stay away from the non express trains.
15:55 Get onto train
16:30 Get off train. Find the 'Loop line' to get to Osaka Central station. Oh My God only three minutes! Hurry hurry!
16:33 Get onto loop line train.
16:38 Realise that you're travelling in the wrong direction. Try to figure out which is faster: remain on this train and travel the entire loop or get off and take a train in the opposite direction.
16:40 Come to a decision and get off.
16:45 Get on Loop line train, going back.
16:58 Get off at Osaka Central station. Find train that goes from Osaka Central station to Shin-Osaka. Shin-Osaka is the other central station in Osaka
17:10 Get off at Shin-Osaka, find the office of Japan Railways so I can make seat reservations since it's always nice to have your seat, so you don't have to move in case some traveller shows up.

PW: 'Hi I would like to make seat reservations to Narita Airport. (I knew that I had to switch trains in Tokyo anyway, but this way I think it's smaller risk of misunderstandings)
JR: Hai! *frenetically starts typing on his computer*
JR: *writes something on a note and slides it to me* 'Sorry, no seat reservations'
PW: 'No seat reservations? Ok that's no problem, I can travel without seat reservations, right?'
JR: 'Yes!'
PW: (silently in my mind) Well that shouldn't be a problem, this is the first station on the line 

JR: *has that special look as if he wants to tell you something*
PW: *looks down on the note JR passed me* Aha! My train will be arriving at Tokyo Central sstation at 20:40 and the train for Narita leaves at 20:45. It's a terminal the size of a large mall, in five floors... and I have no idea where my trains will be arriving at or departing from. I don't see any problems whatsoever.

17.20-17:35 Idling with my Kindle.

17:35 Get on Shinkansen for Tokyo. Find comfy seat. Hope that the train by some miracle will be arriving early at Tokyo Terminal.

20:35: Last station before Tokyo. Not early. Disappointed.

20:39 We are one minute early! Getting ready at the door onto the platform. As soon as the doors open I rush out onto the platform, getting a good grasp of the situation.
'All right, we have to get off the platform at least. Oh a stair! I'm heading that way.'
At the back of my brain the analytical part has input such as: 'Are we sure that these are the correct stairs?' I see more stairs over there'


Reptile brain respeonds with: 'No time, find train.' I run down the stairs into the main hall of Tokyo Central.


Analytival brain: 'We should read the signs to get a better scope of where we are heading' 


Reptile brain: 'Seriously what about 'no time'did you find difficult to comprehend?! Just find the little glyph that looks like an airplane and follow that!' 


I run through the terminal following the signs with the airplane symbol. At the other end of the terminal I begin to notice red dots in the floor, with a tiny airplane in it. 'Yes I made it!'


Analytical brain: 'Not so fast Usain... we are on floor 4, the airport express seems to be departing from floor one'


Me and reptile brain together: 'You're seriously no fun at all, you know that?'
Ok let's take the escalator down. But no! Here comes a real slow mover and he's getting into the escalator. There's no way we'll get past him.  Ok, normal stairs here we come. 


Floor 3: No, slowmovers in sight! Win! I unceremoneously make my way down the escalator bumping japanese people out of the way with my huge suitcase.

Floor 2: still no slow-movers.
Reptile brain 'ONAROLL!!'
 

Floor one: 'ASDFFGHJKKLLKK!!! How can slow people be allowed in the escalator?'

As I'm running down the stairs my analytical mind cuts into the transmission of 'LEFT FOOT RIGHT FOOT!'
 

'OK now we're gonna look around even as we're mid-stairway to get a scope of the platform downstairs to know what side the train will be departing from'
 

I'm rewarded by almost stumbling over my feet but also red markings on the pillars on the right side with a tiny airplane on them.
'AND THERE'S THE TRAIN!! OUTTA MY WAY PEOPLE!!!' 


The train is notably crowded so I have to slide in smoothly and elegantly. Not exactly my signature move on a regular day and lo and behold, a suitcase of 40 pounds and a pulse of 190 has neither improved my coordination nor my motorics whatsoever. But what's important is that I'm ON THE DAMN TRAIN! I spend 15 seconds of celebration and highfiving my reptile brain. The jubilations are cut short however by my analytical brain who barges into the celebration like a partycrasher on PCP. 

'Guys... Guys!! GUUUUUYSS!!! This train isn't heading to Narita airport. It says Kobe on that sign.' 


Reptile brain: 'Failure!! Failure!! Defeat!! Warning!! Danger!' 


I make my way onto the platform again Upsetting at least twice as many persons as I did on the way in. Excuse me guys while I go over here and vomit a little.  Not one to be discouraged, I make my way back to Japan Railways ticket office. The girl behind the counter is earthshatteringly cuteiful. Not exactly in condition for romantisicing I instead make my point short and concise.
 

'Seat reservations for Narita express?'
The cute girl taps away at her computer before she turns to me with pity in her voice.
'Last Narita express left at 8 oclock'
'Did she just say 8 o clock? I thought it sounded a lot like 8 o clock.'
'8 oclock?'
'Yes'
'Not 8.45?'
'No' Right, I have a guy that I'm going to kill next time I get to Osaka. I know what he looks like. He has black hair.

'So are there any other ways to get to Narita Airport?'


The cute girl shines up because she understands what I'm saying. She looked very nervous when I approcached the counter and also she has a supervisor
looking over her shoulder. The change in confidence in her is apparent. Not only is she communicating clearly in english, she is also talking 'above basic level'.
She assures me that there are local trins going to Narita. She prints out a note of directions on an old Matrix printer with that loud but yet somehow comfortingly familiar noise. She explains to me that the first part is run by Japan Railways. But they can only get you to Narita town. Not to Narita Airport. To get there I have to switch trains and switch railway companies. Ok, I smile at ms World-competitor-turned-train-ticket-girl, nodding enthusiastically, to make sure she understands that I understand. But wait... isn't that... THAT look? You know the one that says 'I have something more to say, but not quite sure how to express it. I take a look at the note with directions that the asian Hollywood method-actress studying for her upcoming role as a ticket clerk by day and crime-fighting superheroine by night gave me. Right, first train arrives at Narita town at 22:45 and the train to the airport will be leaving at 22:49. So 4 minutes to get off first train, find the other railway companys station, purchase a ticket, and find where the train for the airport departs from. How hard can it be?

21:45 I make my way to the train and get on. And for the first time in my entire train-riding carreer I'm alone in a carriage. As far as bad signs go this is definitely one of them. Eventually the conductor comes along though, he takes a look at my rail pass, nods and moves on. I breathe a sigh of relief and relax for an hour while reading.

22:45 Narita station. Same procedure as last time. Ready at the train door as soon as we roll into the station. Out onto the platform, looking around, spotting the sign pointing the way to the other station, walk over a small bridge and there it is! Hurry hurry! I run up to the ticket machines purchase a ticket for Narita airport. Make my way onto the platform where the lightboard informs me '22:49 Last train for Narita airport!' I look at the clock on the wall... '22:52'
 

'No... Noo... Please! Not like this! I'm so close now!'
 

Right, so I start looking for ways to get a taxi, but for once in my life I decide to be a stupid tourist. I walk up to the station attendant and ask
'No more trains for Narita airport?'
 

He goes at the task with furious efficiency and starts flipping through pages in a binder, looking around, looking at the clock. Then I see him start jumping up and down with excitement. 'Train! Train!' while pointing at the platform with the lightboard. I make my way over there and with increasing astonishment and satisfaction I realise that for the first time since the late 70s a japanese train is actually late. I throw a quick glance over my shoulder to the station attendant and his face is one big smile, I give him a thumbs up. I get on the train and sit down smiling to myself. 

'We made it! We MADE IT!! Despite everything and against all odds we actually made it!'

Little did I know.

The train ride to the airport takes about 20 minutes so any taxi fare would  surely not have been very cheap. I get off at terminal 2 despite my plane leaving from terminal 1 because I recall the hotel being closer to terminal 2. There is actually only one path to take from the platform, every other way is closed and I'm actaully relieved, because that means I can't go the wrong way. My relief is suddenly turned into a sense of utter panic. The path that I'm walking is taking me to the security check, which means that I'm heading to the gates to the airplanes. Anyone who's ever flown knows that if you go through the security check to the gates, it's basically impossible to go back. I suppose you could go back with a little pleading with the security personnel but it's generally frowned upon. Then it dawns on me. Not only am I heading towards the security check to the gates to the air planes, I'm doing it at the wrong terminal. Images of me in interrogation cells with airport security and the local police, in which communication is scarce at best starts flashing by before my mind. So right there and then I decide 'Fuck it! I'm going back!' It may look a little suspicious to turn back at this specific point right in front of the security check but I'm thinking that the troubles will be nothing compared to what would happen if I went through the security check. I have room reservations and I intend to use them goddammit! I'm not spending the night outside an airport gate at the wrong terminal. (or god knows where else). I make it as far as the exit gates from the train platform before two guards sternly but kindly with gestures makes sure that I know that under no circumstances will I be passing this way. They make me turn around and head back to the security check, this time following closely behind so I don't wander off in some other random direction. 


So... Bull... Horn... grab. The classic british way of communication seems to be the only recourse left to me, ie slowly and loudly. 

'I... want... to... go... to hotel... not... airplanes'
'Of course, sir, which hotel are you staying at?'
The relief is only rivalled by my confusion.
'The Tokoyo inn' I stutter
'Yes, sir, of course. Let me just look through your luggage quickly.' the security officer with impeccable english quickly feels through my belongings and for a short second I'm afraid that I had packed somthing stupid, but he quickly closes mmy suitcase and then takes out a laminated piece of paper.
'The shuttle for Tokoyo inn is leaving from stop 39, sir. It's just up the stairs and to the right.'
'Thank you and have a nice evening!'
 

I make my way around a corner and up the stairs and out onto the large bus terminal. Stop 39 isn't hard to find. What is, however, is the shuttle. A quick glance at the time table informs me that the last shuttle left an hour ago, There is only so many disappointments a man can take in one day before his spirit breaks totally. Surely I could walk the distance to the hotel. If only I knew what direction I should be walking because I couldn't see my hotel name anywhere, in any direction.
23:50 I slump down on my red suicase, which lets out an omnious creak, indicating that it might have been designed with purposes other than sitting on
in mind. As I get up onto my feet again I see a taxi, slowing down just in front of me.
'Where are you going?'
'Tokoyo inn?'
'Come come. I take you. Free of charge.'
'Really?'
'Yes! Yes! Shift ends now.'

23:55 So after the unlikeliest series of events since Sarah Palin got nominated to the McCain-ticket I find myself in front of Tokoyo inn. It's not without a significant grin I enter the hotel lobby of Tokoyo Inn as I think back on my journey so far. The front desk has only one person but he seems to be working through the guests at a quick pace. That is until he gets to the brit standing in front of me. The only recorded individual in human history to acheve the feat of becoming as wide as he stands tall. And he wasn't very short. The brit couldn't understand that he doesn't have reservations. 

00:15 After nearly twenty minutes of debating, it becomes evident that the company that he works for has made a booking with the hotel, and then cancelled it without telling our sphere-shaped stiff upperlip. After another five minutes, it seems everything is sorted though. The brit gets a new room and
merrily hops along. I approach the counter and in clear voice I say 

'Good evening, I have reservations in the name of Peter Wallin'. 
Furious typing ensues. 
'Sorry sir, no vacancies'. 
Right... I didn't want to go here but you're twisting my arm here. Slow and loud it is, then. 
'Reservations in the name of Peter Wallin'. 
More typing. 
'Sorry no vacancies.' A dreadful thought strikes me. 
'What if the brit was given my room?'. So I make one last desperate attempt, I reach down into my pouch and fish out my passport. 
'RESERVATIONS!' Again more typing. 
'Oh yes! Welcome mr Wallin!'

I go through the check in process and fork over my last Yen-notes and recieve an old-fashioned key with a large white stick attached. 

'Key cards?'
'Not in Japan buddy, here we roll with hardware.' 

I get in the elevator and go up to my room situated on the 4th floor just in front of me as I step out. The key slides in with a slight resistance and i fidget around a little before successfully unlocking. 
'FINALLY!! I'M HERE!! MY OWN HOTEL ROOM!!'
I'll be sleeping sleep of angels in a matter of seconds. Not so fast buddy.

The room is dark. I fondle the walls for light switches. I only find a small console with a red light and some kind of switch. I caress every nook and cranny of the console but it doesn't give up the secrets to electrical light umm well lightly. Then I freeze. Did my sweet caresses just set off the fire alarm? It's not impossible. No loud noice though. I think I'm safe. So back to the original problem at hand. No light. I look up and see a lamp, with a string attached. DING! It feels like I'm in one of those point-and-click computer adventure games. 


Pull on string.
The light from the hall lamp reveals an ordinary hotel room with two comfortable beds. There are four light switches around the room
and a console.

 

Walk to first lightswitch. As you release the string the room goes dark again. You stub your toe on your suitcase and curse a little.
 

Pull on string The light from hall lamp reveals the same ordinary hotel room as seconds before.
 

Take directions to first light switch.
Walk to first lightswitch
You navigate past your suitcase and find the first lightswitch in the dark.
 

Flip switch Nothing happens
 

Walk to hall lamp You navigate past your suitcase and find yourself under the hall lamp.
 

Pull on string The light from hall lamp reveals the same ordinary hotel room as seconds before
 

Take directions to second light switch
Walk to second lightswitch You navigate past your suitcase and find the second lightswitch in the dark.
 

Flip switch Nothing happens
 

Walk to hall lamp You navigate past your suitcase and find yourself under the hall lamp.
 

Pull on string The light from hall lamp reveals the same ordinary hotel room as seconds before

Take directions to third light switch
Walk to third lightswitch You navigate past your suitcase and find the third lightswitch in the dark.
 

Flip switch Nothing happens
 

Walk to hall lamp You navigate past your suitcase and find yourself under the hall lamp.
 

Pull on string The light from hall lamp reveals the same ordinary hotel room as seconds before
 

Take directions to fourth light switch.
Walk to fourth lightswitch You navigate past your suitcase and find the fourth lightswitch in the dark.
 

Flip switch Nothing happens
'!!!'
Then I remember: the console!
 

Walk to console You stub your toe on your suitcase and curse a little.
Push buttons on console. You hear the quiet whirr of the air condition unit as it sputters to life.
'ARE YOU FRAKKING KIDDING ME?!'
 

Give up and walk to reception to ask for advice.
You pick up the key and once again notice the odd shape of the key ring ornament.
 

Use oddly shaped keyring ornament with red-light-console. The ornament slides into hole just below the red light and the room lights up!

VICTOLY!!!!

00:55 Deciding that I've earned myself some relaxation after this trial, I undress and step into the bathroom. I notice that there are 3 dispensers at showering height. One for rinse, one for shampoo and for shower cream.
'So you mean that I don't even have to open my suitcase and dig out my own soap and shampoo? Why yes I can work with that.' 


So I slide down into the bath tub and feel the water rising up over my body. So relaxing. In fact relaxing enough that I don't want to get out of the water to get soap. Not one to be outdone by this slight inconvenience I slide as far down into the tub as possible while simultaneously letting my feet reach further and further up the wall on the footend where the soap dispensers are situated Soon I've figured out how to operate the soap dispenser with my foot and I'm rewarded with a cool stream of soap running into the arch of my left foot.

DOUBLE VICTOLY!!!

It is in that exact moment I realise that despite my ingenious solution to fetch soap without getting out of the water, the water has stopped rising at about the height of my nipples because of the overflow safety. So in my finest moment I'm still defeated. My head hangs lowly as I resign to just taking a shower.

When I'm done, I walk out and sit down on one of the beds. I turn on the TV and flip through the channels.


'Oh, pay-per-view! Double-OH! They even have an adult section!' 

Don't get me wrong here I would never order a shabby porno on pay per view in a hotel room anywhere, but I couldn't _not_ flip through the selection. After going through the numerous categories and movies I decide to just call it a night. Just as I place my head on my pillow the room phone rings. You know how it is. NOONE ever calls you on your hotel room unless it's from the front desk and the front desk calling me just after I've flipped through the adult section couldn't be a coincidence. I was convinced. I somehow had ordered
some adult movie so explicit that even the front desk was upset and was now calling me up to ask me to leave. It was a with a quivering voice I answered
'H-hello?'
'Hello mr Wallin... *pause*'
*swallow*
'Sorry for calling so late in the evening but I need to ask you...'
I had already mentally packed what few belongings I had unpacked.
'... how did you pay? By credit card or cash?'
'Cash'
'Thank you, sorry for disturbing you so late'
Somehow I felt like I had dodged a bullet. But seriously. Who calls their guests to ask how they paid?

I slept the sleep of angels.

06:30 Wake up from the alarm. Turn over.
07:30 Get out of bed, shower, go down and eat breakfast.
08:30 Gather my stuff, check in on my flight online and check out from the hotel.
09:00 Take the shuttle to terminal 1
09:15 Realise that the check-in desk/baggage drop still hasn't opened. Proceed to read some more.
09:30 Check-in desk/bagage drop opens but the girl at the bagage drop station puts up a sign that one should use the ordinary check-in counters.
09:35 Still in line with all the common people that _HASN'T_ checked in online.
09:40 Reach the check-in counter. Drop off my suitcase. The girl at the bagage drop counter removes her sign. Of course.
09:55 Goes through security and immigration.
10:20 Browses the tax free stores. Finds 18 year old japanese whiskey for my colleague.
10:21 Not allowed to purchase Whiskey because I will go through security in Copenhagen again.Disappointed.
10:30 Read more.
11:00 Interrupted by a girl from the Japanese tourism agency. Asks me questions about my stay. I tell her that I've been to Hirakata. She has never
heard of it. I reach the conclusion that NOONE in Japan believes in Hirakata.
11:05 Finish the interview with the girl. Get a moderatly ugly postcard for my troubles.Go back to reading.
11:50 Boarding

My seat is 24 E. Which is in the middle of the middle row. Far from ideal, but that's what you get for checking in at midnight the day before leaving. It's just for 10 hours or so. (I swear to god I never figured out how long the flight time actually is because of the time zones). As I make my way towards seat 24 E I notice the japanese guy that will be sitting to my left. He's young, early 20's perhaps, looking full of life.  I let my imagination wonder as I squeeze down the aisle. 'He's probably off to Europe for his first visit and is really excited about it. Happy to meet new cultures and widen his horizons'. 

As people are in the way for a while I take the time to shut off my cell phone as it's currently at 26% and I'm gonna need the phone in Copenhagen. Also you're not allowed to have your cell phone turned on during flights ( in case you didn't know) After the current glut of people has found their seats, I make eye contact with my dear neighbour. As he realises that I'm seated next to him in his previously comfortably vacant seat, I don't have to imagine any longer. His eyes are like two tunnels straight into his mind and there are no language barriers anymore as I can read his thoughts word for word. Currently he is thinking 'What... the... hell...' I realise that I'm quite possibly the largest person he has ever seen in real life. He keeps his face though as I slide down into the seat next to him.

13:00 We are currently 10 000 meters above the ground and the crew has  started the inflight entertainment. My japanese neighbour however thinks that
the small screens in the seats in front of us are touch screens. However I know that the remote controls are tucked into the armrests dividing the seats. For four minutes I watch him helplessly trying to get the screen to react to his pushes and fondlings before he disappointedly gives up. I  throw a glance at him sideways and I can still read his mind. 


'Worst.trip.ever. First I have to sit next to the marshmallowman from Ghostbusters and THEN I get faulty inflight entertainment equipment.'

13:04 My insides are in turmoil. I'm torn between assisting my neighbour and have him believe that I'm fondling him inappropriately and having to watch him or watch him desperatly trying to push his screen for 9 hours while turning more and more disheartened.
13:05 Deep breath. Right, we're heading into inapporopriate fondling-ville. I reach over and quickly push the button to release the remote from the armrest. Of course the remote is stuck. The temperature between my asian neighbour and me is rapidly heading into 'Frosty with a chance of snowstorm'-territory. After a few seconds of struggling, he realises what I'm trying to do and shines up! With our forces combined we both manage to free the remote. Success!
13:06 Apparently the invertebrae in the seat in front of me seized the opportunity to lean his backrest backwards while I was busy helping with the
remote, thus making sure that my flight will be the distilled very essence of torment. Flight travellers of the world can we please come to an understanding? 'NOONE EVER LEANS THEIR BACKRESTS BACK, EVER? Thank you /Everyone taller than 6ft'.
13:07-18:20 (local Copenhagen time) Pain and discomfort
18:40 Disembarking. My entire body hurts.
18:45 Go through security. Turn on my Iphone to call my father to come pick me up. My Iphone is dead. Dear Apple, how have you managed to develop a
smart phone that uses battery power while shut off? Inquiring minds are FUCKING INQUIRESOME
18:50 - 19:15 Trying to find a power outlet to charge my phone. Unsuccessful. Disappointed. Resort to charging my phone from the battery of my laptop
19:15 Laptop doesn't detect my phone. ADSGFKJADBHGKJLBASDKJLG!!!!
19:30 Boarding for Gothenburg begins. My Laptop detects my phone.
19:35 Gate personnel looks at me strangely as if to say 'We suspect that you're on our flight but for some reason unbeknownst to man you are refusing to board, but of course we can't be sure.'
19:45 Charged up to 10%. Make the worlds quickest phone call to my father. Pack up my laptop and phone.
19:48 Boarding the plane. Make sure to dodge the axe that the flight attendant is attempting to lodge deeply between my shoulderblades.
20:00 Takeoff!
20:15 Notice that the seat row in front of me is vacant. Subsequently move from my seat neighbour to that row instead
20:30 Finish my book. Put my Kindle in the seat pocket in front of me.
21:00 Touchdown in Gothenburg! I'M HOME BITCHES!
21:10 Finally on actual Swedish ground.
21:12 Through the security check. Pondering kissing the floor of the airport terminal. Decide against it for numerous reasons. Realise I left my kindle on the plane.
21:17 Grab my suitcase of the belt. Head to the information desk and ask them if they can help out. Look at my boarding card to find my seat number.
21:25 'No kindle... sorry'
21:26 Realise that I asked them to look in the wrong seat pocket. Ask them to look in 19F instead of 20F. SUCCESS!!
21:40 On my way home.
22:10 Collapse into bed.