Fate, co-workers and me (the unexpected sequel)

Or... what the fuck did I do this time? (that's an alternate title for all you illiterates out there)

Last week I got back to work after a long sick-leave. I had flu. So on wednesday my co-worker arrives in a bad mood, looking like something the cat didn't want to drag in.

'I'm sick but I have tons of work to do' was his excuse.

'Yeah well if I catch whatever you're having, I'm gonna throw heavy and hard objects at you. If you nose-block me, I'll motherfucking kill you'

He was very sneaky though, because the first of my symptoms didn't show until the weekend. Saturday morning to be precise. Fever and a runny nose and a sore throat. Needless to say the weekend was spent in a state vaguely reminiscent of 'Gossip girl', ie pure unadulterated anus.

Things I learned during the weekend:

Nothing rhymes with orange.

The homepage where one can read famous last words in RPGs is still up.

People don't update their statuses often enough on facebook during the weekends.

Slight aside:

I want to make love wild and raunchy love to Helena Ekholm and her sister Jenny Jonsson*. They have fabulous bodies, that they apparently don't mind putting into unreasonably tight suits. They have wicked stamina. They have long blonde hair, that I'm sure that they don't mind putting up in ponytails. Yes, really. Ponytails, really. And they shoot rifles! Understand that these girls hit things roughly the size of my areolas** from 50 metres away. If either of you read this... give me a call. Post in the comments if you need my number.

End aside.

Sunday, hell continued but I managed to watch a movie that I got recommended to me called 'What dreams may come'. I was warned that it was a bit bittersweet. Yeah... I watched a sentimental movie, with my nose clogged and slightly feverish. I thought I could handle it. I could not. It was waterworks all the way. By the end there were tears in exactly every part of my appartment. Better call the landlord to check for water damages.

Monday morning I decided to go to work again. 'Quid pro quo, fucker'. My sly invertebrate of a colleague had next-leveled me though. As I start picking up bottles for flinging excercises he admits. 'I was home at two of my friends yesterday and played with their 1-year old for almost 5-hours straight. This morning the father called to tell me that she had been puking and had diarrhea all night'

I was baffled, dumbstruck and at a loss for words. Proper responses would of course have been any of the following:

"Have you started doing drugs? Because to me it sounded awfully lot like 'I'm most likely contagious again and any long-term contact with me by say sharing a small office for an entire workday will result in the catching of said pathogen'. And I just don't see anyone in their right mind wanting to put themselves through the excrutiating pain that will inevitably follow my return to work."

"You need to get out of this office more than Christina Aguilera needs to learn the Star-Spangled banner lyrics"

But I resigned with a 'Well played'

As the afternoon rolled around a quick check out the window confirmed that it had infact started snowing again. I checked the weather services webpage for updates about the weather. 'Oh? just a class 2-storm warning? Par for the course, I assume' I left work in good time to make it to the busstop and the bus actually arrives on time. Those following my blog will undoubtedly know that this is like being part of some great celestial event. When I get to the tram stop ( I have to take a tram and a bus to get to work) it all made sense again. The tram had broken down, it just sat there blocking the rails for any working trams that would happen to, you know, head my way. All in all... I spent the better part of the wait pondering what Karmakaze-inducing action I have performed to deserve this, then I looked down on my shirt. 'You've got to be kidding me, green with white stripes can't POSSIBLY qualify as light-coloured clothes'

Tomorrow and wednesday will be an interesting day as I'm flying to Paris on wednesday. With any luck my mucus-filled sinuses will explode so I don't have to suffer the indignity of having diarrhea and vomiting on an airplane.

Have a nice day, y'all

*They compete in biathlon, google them if you have to.

**If it's not chilly that is.