Fate, Bus drivers and me

I thought I'd do some writing again. Call it therapy or something.

Had a piss-poor day.

One of those days that every little thing that you do is almost categorically followed by the thought "How come there's no ctrl+z in real life".

Started this morning, dragged my handsome behind out of bed to find that the clothes that I washed late last night hadn't dried. I even hung them neat and tidy! I'm such a novice at these things. So I dug up a pair of white shorts that goes well with by light-grey/silvery striped shirt. Oh yeah I work in marketing these days, gotta look the part. Let me explain something... "Light-coloured clothes should be banned!" You take four steps in any given direction and you've aquired a stain. And no... my home isn't that dirty. It lasted up until lunch before the inevitable stain appeared. Had lasagna. Yeah you all know where this is going. Tomato sauce.
Never ever ever eat anything tomato-sauce-ish if you're wearing light clothes. It's like pissing on fate. You think you can get away with it, but sooner or later you'll hear a wet smattering on your right shoulder and when you look up there's Fate with the widest of grins.

Through the years I've acquired staggering amounts of wisdom and I'm not the disobliging kind so here's a grain for you all: "Life's not easy... but being stupid sure as fuck doesn't help"

The choice of clothes seemed to be extremely well-chosen with regards to temperature and weather though so I was happy.

After a hard work-day I plan on heading into town. I check the when the buses go from where I work. And it seems that in 10 minutes I can take bus, switch buses two times and be in town pretty fast. I was in a slight hurry so I chose the discomfort of switching buses two times over having a long relaxing ride on one bus.

What I had not taken into consideration however is 'Västtrafik' or 'cave-mongo Inc' which I lovingly call them most of the time. Cave-mongo Inc is the company that's responsible for the public transport in the region.

The bus that was going to take me the first leg of the trip was supposed to show up at 6:59 and drop me off at 7:07, 5 minutes before the second bus was leaving. At 7:12 I had given up and cursingly made my way to the next bus stop (where more buslines go).

Then as I'm exactly half way between the two bus stops the bus shows up, fashionably late. Running ensues. Miraculously I actually make it! I give the bus driver the evil eye for managing the impressive feat of being 14 minutes late on a loop that takes 15 minutes to drive.

Now, however I am in a quandry, the second bus that I was supposed to connect with has undoubtedly left already, but are there other buses leaving from that stop that get me to the last bus on time? That is, should I get off at the intermediate stop and take a bus hoping that it will get me to the third bus on time or should I just chill and give up on making it on time at all (that is remain on this bus and take a long detour)? Both alternatives has their merits. My thoughts are somewhat interrupted by two beautiful girls that smile at me and take a seat in front of me.

What finally decides the matter is that these two girls are also getting of at the intermediate stop. If I'm gonna wait might as well do it in good-looking company. Nice boobs on that one. She smiles at me again. I try not to stare. However, Fate, this time in the form of the evolutionary Cul-de-sac that is the worlds latest bus driver, decides to exact revenge and simply ignores our stop, even though we've signalled that we're getting off. "Eeey, driver!! Let me know what it's like working for Cave-Mongo inc will you?"

The long detour it is. When I finally get there, my friends decide that 'F it we're going home instead'. 'But?' 'Umm?' 'Et tu, William?' After several minutes of extreme efforts trying to remove the dagger from my back, I give up. Might be difficult to sleep, but I sleep on my side anyways.

As I finally decide to make my way home, the rain starts pouring down.
Fate: 'How's that ultra-thin, light shirt with a tomato stain on it feeling now?'
Me: 'Fuck you, Fate!'
Fate: 'Fine I'm gonna cram your bus with drunk teenagers and middle-aged bag-in-box alcoholics'
Me: 'Fuck! It's the Culture Festival this week, aint it?'
Fate: 'I win again!'
Me: 'Is the left shoulder ok or does it have to be the right one?'

When I get home, I do some cooking. Suddenly a daddy-longlegs show up out of nowhere, I rescue him from coming too close to the hot plate with a little smile and then turn my back to cut garlic. Less than 15 seconds later I smell something rather strange and not too pleasant. On his back between the three burning plates lies the daddy-longlegs, twitching in what I assume his last moments in this life. My cynical insides are torn between 'Tried having lasagna in light clothes, buddy?' and 'Were you perhaps a bus driver in a previous life?'

Oh and by the way when you're cooking up something to have just before you go to bed is it best to
A: Go nuts with the onion, garlic and spices since that shit probably doesn't mess up your sleeping at all.
or B: None of the above.

Never been a B-Man.